TEN WORDS TO CUT FROM YOUR WRITING

Shanna Mallon

As Mark Twain famously wrote, “I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.” His point? Strong writing is lean writing.

When you want to make your writing more powerful, cut out words you don’t need – such as the 10 included in this post:

1. Just: The word “just” is a filler word that weakens your writing. Removing it rarely affects meaning, but rather, the deletion tightens a sentence.

2. Really: Using the word “really” is an example of writing the way you talk. It’s a verbal emphasis that doesn’t translate perfectly into text. In conversation, people use the word frequently, but in written content it’s unnecessary. Think about the difference between saying a rock is “hard” and “really hard,” for example. What does the word add? Better to cut it out to make your message stronger.

3. Very: Everything that applies to “really” applies to “very.” It’s a weak word. Cut it.

4. Perhaps/maybe: Do you want your audience to think you’re uncertain about what you’re saying? When you use words like “maybe” and “perhaps,” uncertainty is exactly what you’re communicating.

5. Quite: When someone uses “quite,” he or she either means “a bit” or “completely” or “almost.” Sometimes the word adds meaning; sometimes it’s fluff. Learn to tell the difference–but, when in doubt, cut it out.

6. Amazing: The meaning of “amazing” is causing great wonder or surprise – but some writers use the word so often that the meaning gets lost. How can something be amazing if everything is? Ditch this diluted word.

7. Literally: When something is true in a literal sense, you don’t have to add the word “literally.” The only reason it makes sense to use the word is when it clarifies meaning (i.e., to explain you aren’t joking when it seems you are).

8. Stuff: Unless you are aiming at informality, don’t use the word “stuff.” It’s casual, it’s generic, and it usually stands in for something better.

9. Things: Writers use the word “things” to avoid using a clearer, more specific word that would communicate more meaning. Be specific. Don’t tell us about the “10 things,” tell us about the “10 books” or “10 strategies.” Specificity makes for better writing.

10. Got: Think of all the ways we use the vague word “got” in conversation: “I’ve got to go,” “I got a ball,” or “I got up this morning.” Though it’s fine for conversation, in writing, “got” misses valuable opportunities. Rather than writing a lazy word, look for clearer, more descriptive language: “I promised I’d leave by 9,” “I picked up a ball,” or “I woke up today,” for example.

Whether you’ve been writing for a few days or for many years, you’ll benefit from evaluating the words you use. Cut the filler to make your writing stronger.

FROM THE KITCHEN TO THE CLASSROOM: More Girls Go Back To School

In a place where education had ceased to be relevant, with girls seemingly discouraged, tired of education and hopeless about the future, Katwaki Agency for development (KAFORD) with support from Independent Development Fund has managed to sensitise the masses about the importance of education, restore hope and seen more girls going back to school. Reports indicate that most girls in the sub counties of Ongongoja and Ngarian Sub counties had dropped out of school, given up on life and were either trying out marriage or hoping to get married soon since they had no one to encourage them to go back to school regardless of the existence of UPE/USE in the area.

KAFORD conducted several out of school sensitization meetings during which it educated the children and care takers on the need for education. And from these efforts many have been encouraged to go back to school. Those that had gone in for trial marriage have also quit and returned to the classroom. Apparently the number of those who have reported back to school has so far has reached 15. According to the deputy headmaster Odoot primary school, the girls seem to be more serious than the boys. “i find the girls more serious because none of them has dropped out, yet among the boys one has again disappeared” he remarked. Reports from the respective schools where these children are, so far, indicate that the performance of these children is average/ encouraging. We believe that with more support and motivation, they will do better.

Ityamat Kevin (Ngariam Seed School), Amal Betty (Aperu Odoot), Nume Florence (Ngariam P/S), Adeke Grace P.5 (Odoot Ps) and Amongin Sarah (Odoot PS) are some of the girls that have returned to the classroom. Although the boys and girls have agreed to go back to school, they are still challenged by the lack of scholastic materials and uniform. However KAFORD managed to provide start up scholastic materials (books, pens and sets) to the girls and also talked to their guardians, teachers and fellow pupils to continue encouraging the new girls to stay in and complete school. The girls have equally been encouraged to work hard especially during the holidays; like doing casual jobs to help them raise money for more books, pens and uniform. On the whole most parents have appreciated the change in attitude and have pledged to support their children’s learning.

They are also in close contact with the KAFORD paralegals who are assigned to continue talking to the girls. So far, through the paralegal’s interventions, one Ikuret Scovia of Ongongoja Secondary School has been reconciled with her parents, who have now accepted to take care of her fees and scholastic materials. Ikuret Scovia says she is going to be a role model to other girls of her age.

A paralegal talking to both mother and daughter.

When asked about early marriage that most of the young girls are engaged in, Scovia had this to say; “marriage life is difficult when you are young. Most girls shed tears while sharing their experience with me. They even advise me to concentrate on education and be different. They tell me how their husbands sexually exploit them yet they will not provide or care for them and their children; not even when they fall sick. This particular friend of mine with 3 children feels she wants to go back to school but wonders who will take care of the children. She feels so bad that the best she can do is just to encourage me to stay in school and have a better future.

REPLACING RITES WITH RIGHTS: AMPLIFYING THE VOICE OF UGANDAN WOMEN.

Women living in rural parts of the developing world are disproportionately affected by marginalization and poverty. In Uganda, widows in particular, suffer the risk of land grabbers, destitution, stigma and abuse. Uganda Community Based Association for Child welfare (UCOBAC) an Independent Developemnt Fund(IDF) grantee supporting in amplifying, the voice of the locals through advocacy, led to community involvement in making decisions on matters that affect their livelihoods; and was able save a young lady from eviction as narrated further below.

 A widow and her children survive the wrath of in-laws

A young lady aged 24 years experienced the cruelty of her in-laws during the time when her husband, was suffering from a severe case of Tuberculosis. While attending to the husband in Mulago, the national referral Hospital, her in-laws (relatives of the Husband) made a decision on behalf of the ailing husband to sell off part of the property (Land) under the disguise that the proceeds from the sale were to help with the medical bills.

During the process to secure a buyer, the young lady contacted the paralegal trained in rights and empowerment by UCOBAC and narrated to her the suffering she was experiencing. The paralegal accepted to intervene in resolving/stopping the sale and any misunderstandings between the young lady and her in-laws. Form the discussion, the paralegal contacted the in-laws, and a meeting was scheduled during which the widow’s concerns were discussed. With the intervention and guidance of the paralegal, the meeting discussed the concerns and a unanimous decision was agreed up to halt the sale of the property. Unfortunately shortly after the meeting had been held, the young lady’s husband succumbed to the illness. However the timely intervention helped to identify the immediate risk of violence to the widow, sale of the family property (Land), in addition to protecting the widow and her children from eviction. This demonstrates that the paralegal trained in rights and empowerment was a catalyst in resolving the Gender based violence that the window was to be subjected to.

Currently, the widow is in full possession of the property (Land), although her means of livelihood are no longer as they were. She is better off than she would have been if it was not the timely intervention of the paralegal and a few members of the community that were aware of the rights of women and children.